my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
