Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
