At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
