We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
