She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
