i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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