i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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