Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
