The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
