So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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