Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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