ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
