Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
