my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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