All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
