I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
