I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
