I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
