my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
