is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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