I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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