All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
