oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
