Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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