I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Enjoy the penises
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
