My friends, they love my intelligence
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
