Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
