Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Randomize
