I think scott just propositioned me for sex
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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