I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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