My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
