hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
