Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
