literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
