Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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