Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
