This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I party with great urgency now.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
