Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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