How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
