I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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