hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
