To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
