I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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