you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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