We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
