I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
