I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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