We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
