Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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