porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
