nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
