Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I got inside last night via doggy door
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
